The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
