And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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