The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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