The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
