Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
