I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
