eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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