You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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