i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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