2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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