you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
