I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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