I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
