you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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