Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
