I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
