I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
