Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
