thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
