Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize