You really coming over, don't trick.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
