I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
kristin has been a bad kristin
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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