Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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