how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
