absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
