you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
