We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
