Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
