fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Acid is not a monday night drug
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
