I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
