Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
