I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
