Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my sisters under your porch take her home
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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