Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
