Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
