You surviving the open bar?
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If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize