Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
