there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize