You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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