Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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