guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Mom said you looked used
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
