The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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