i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
