The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
