He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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