I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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