non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
