sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
