i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
