would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
