sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
