I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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