Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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