im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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