You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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