I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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