Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
