I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
