It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
