i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
